Why Was I So Tough on the Husband?

(NOTE: Jim's blog is now devoted to answering relationship questions submitted by readers. Please send any questions you may have to jim@attorneyatlove.com).

DEAR JIM: I think you were too hard on the guy who spent the lottery money [see prior posting, April 12, 2010]. If you can't blow your money on the lottery, what can you blow your money on? The guy's wife is no worse off now than before he bought the lottery ticket---except in her head. ("Ralph" in L.A.)

DEAR RALPH: I would agree with you if the guy had won, say, $500 and blew it the same day on something without telling his wife in advance. I play these lottery games myself, and I know what a rush you get when you win even a modest prize. It is fun to spend it. But the guy won $200,000. From what his wife said, they'll probably never see that kind of money, or anything close to it, ever again. I think the husband had both the moral and the legal obligation to consult his wife before spending the money.

Technically, you're correct that the wife is no worse off financially than she would be if he hadn't bought the ticket. But that's like saying that if someone gave you an expensive watch or piece of jewelry, and then you lost it, you shouldn't feel bad because you're no worse off than before you received it as a gift. It ignores the human aspect of it, which in the wife's case is her knowledge that her husband didn't care enough about their future financial security to even consult her before he spent the money.

I appreciate your comments, Ralph. Feel free to disagree with me anytime you'd like; it keeps me on my toes!