The Telltale Post-it Note?

(NOTE: Jim's blog is now devoted to answering relationship questions submitted by readers. Please send any questions you may have to jim@attorneyatlove.com).

DEAR JIM: I've been upset all day. I drove my husband to the airport this morning---he left on a business trip and won't be back for three days. I took his car, because mine needed gas and we were in a rush. When I got home, I noticed a folded-up post-it note on the floor near the driver's seat. I opened it and saw, in my husband's handwriting, the name "Gina", along with a phone number. Jim, I don't know anyone named Gina and I've never heard my husband mention anyone by that name. I did a google search on the phone number but nothing came up. I know, though, that there are sites that, for a fee, will tell you who has a particular phone number. Should I find out whose number it is, or should I just call it and see if it's a business number? Or should I call my husband tonight and ask him to explain? We've been married ten years and I've never had suspicions about anything before, but this is really bothering me. ("M" in Canada)

DEAR "M": I know you're dying to get answers right away, but I think you should wait until your husband gets home before doing anything. For one thing, you need to calm down. If you were to call your husband tonight, your stress might get the better of you. There's a chance you would start accusing him of something that he didn't do, and that never goes well. Beyond that, if you disclose your "evidence" over the phone, you'll never get to see how your husband reacts. Yes, you'll hear his voice, but you won't get to see his eyes, his facial expressions, or his body language---all of which can tell you a lot about whether he's lying to you or telling the truth.

And I wouldn't, at this point, play private detective. Before you know it, you'll be obsessed with finding out everything about "Gina": where she lives, where she works, what she looks like, how old she is, how she knows your husband. If your husband's explanation is clearly evasive or just doesn't add up, you can start doing some digging, but it seems premature right now, especially given that there has been no pattern of suspicious behavior on your husband's part.

For all you know, "Gina" could be a hairdresser, a personal trainer, a business contact, or some other person your husband had a legitimate reason to call. Of course, she could also be someone your husband is seeing on the side. But don't jump to conclusions based on the tiny bit of evidence you have.

Good luck, "M", and please let me know what happens.