Spitzer Psychobabble at its Worst

"Dr. Laura: It's Silda's Fault..."
(Headline in the Daily Intelligencer)

"My brother was simply following a biological imperative. If men weren't attracted to sexy women, the human species would have disappeared a long time ago".
(Dr. Daniel Spitzer, brother of Eliot Spitzer)



Readers of my book know that I have a keen appreciation for human frailty, especially when it comes to sexual temptation. I don't endorse extramarital sex, but I can understand what can drive a person to it. And as a self-proclaimed moral relativist, I'm not usually one to criticize those who have succumbed to temptation.

But I'll make an exception in the Eliot Spitzer case.

Even before the scandal broke out, Spitzler was known in legal and political circles as arrogant, ruthless, and egomaniacal, given to self-congratulatory comments, mean-spirited attacks, and the worst kind of opportunism. It was said that he would throw his own grandmother under the bus if it furthered his agenda. As far as I know, he didn't do that to his grandmother---literally, at least---but he has certainly sacrificed his wife and allowed her to twist in the wind as the alleged "cause" of his behavior.

Let's start with Spitzer's brother's quote (which Spitzler has not, to date, repudiated). According to the brother (who has been described as a "reknowned neurosurgeon"), there is no personal responsibility when it comes to men and sex. If you have the opportunity, you'll go for it. In fact, by going for it you're playing a vital role in the propagation of the species. Well, Eliot Spitzer, by fathering three daughters, has already done his part to ensure that the human race survives beyond this generation. And is the good doctor implying that Eliot's wife, Silda, is inadequate in bed, or at least not adequate enough to compete with "sexy" women?

And then there's Dr. Laura Schlessinger. The day after the Spitzer story broke, she was on the Today show pontificating about how a wife like Silda Spitzer has only herself to blame when she "fails to make him feel like a man, like a success, like her hero". When that happens, "he's very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs".

What absolute garbage. First of all, Eliot Spitzer was not exactly the poster boy for the Low Self-Esteem Society. "Feel like a man, like a success, like a hero"? Hey, just ask him! He's not only a man, but an Alpha Male. He's Superman. He's indestructible. (At least until this week).

Secondly, when Schlessinger says that Spitzer was "susceptible to the charm of some other woman", she seems to be saying that the other woman was pursuing him. Earth to Dr. Laura: this was not an affair. The girl was a prostitute. The only thing she was pursuing was money. He initiated the whole thing.

And finally, who is Dr. Laura to tell us that Silda Spitzer was failing to please her husband? She doesn't even know the woman. The arrogance of Eliot Spitzer is exceeded only by that of his apologists and enablers.

Prostitution is often called a victimless crime, but of course that's not always true. Eliot Spitzer is certainly a victim. He may be a victim of his own sense of entitlement, but he's a victim nonetheless. For the rest of his life, he'll be a public joke. But the truly innocent victim here is Silda Spitzer, who a week ago was largely unknown to the public, and is now accused on national TV of being a bad wife, an unsexy woman, and the "real" cause of her husband's downfall.

If there's any lesson for married men to take from all this, it is that decisions have consequences, sometimes unanticipated and far-reaching consequences. Make sure the decisions you make are the right ones.