Cruise Ship Romance as a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

"Of the survey respondents, 49% insisted that it is totally possible to find romance at sea (and many of them have), but the other 51% said it never happens".
(cruisecritic.com survey)

I love cruising. My wife and I have been on four cruises, and we just put down a deposit on a fifth one. On every cruise we've been on, we've seen plenty of unattached people of all ages meeting and mingling at the cocktail lounges, dance spots, pools, restaurants, coffee bars, and everywhere else that passengers---married or single---tend to gravitate to if they're in a socializing mood.

Knowing what I know about cruise ships---but also knowing what I know about human nature---I'm not surprised that the survey of single cruisers I quoted from produced such radically different results. My guess is that the people who said it's easy to meet people onboard, would be the kind of people who say that it's easy to meet people at ball games or at church events or at Starbucks or at work. And, conversely, the people who said that it's impossible to meet anyone on a cruise, probably also say that it's impossible to meet people anywhere.

When people in the latter group are on a cruise ship, they may as well be carrying signs that say, "Do Not Disturb". They're either in a corner of the library all day with their nose in a book, or they're ordering room service if they haven't made a dinner date in advance, or they're doing endless laps on the jogging track but never making eye contact with anyone. And if they do go out to the bars or restaurants, they unfailingly wind up at familiar same-sex domains: either tables of ten or twelve women (in which case the sign now reads, "No Men Allowed"), or the sports bar/cigar lounge.

The people who say that romance is possible to find, or even easy to find, aren't waiting for lightning to strike. They smile at people, they start up conversations in the gym, they aren't afraid to sit up at the bar by themselves. They project an air of confidence and approachability. They never seem embarrassed to be single. But at the same time, they don't seem desperate to meet someone, and, indeed, they're not desperate. They're there to have a great time, and that's precisely what they're doing.

There are times, of course, when even the most outgoing, optimistic cruiser is not going to meet anyone. If you don't do your homework on cruise line demographics, you may find yourself thirty years older or thirty years younger than the rest of the passengers. And a ship that's too small may not have a critical mass of singles, regardless of the demographics. But, in general, people usually find what they expect to find. Self-fulfilling prophecies are common in all areas of life, not just in dating. But because dating, particularly mid-life dating, brings up so many emotions, so many hopes and fears, it's crucial that the prophecies be positive ones.