The Key to the Jailhouse Door

"Caught between two worlds:
One dead, the other powerless to be born".
(Matthew Arnold, 19th century English poet)

Although Matthew Arnold was referring to the symbolic death of Western civilization, his words can just as easily describe the sense of despair that someone in a bad marriage can feel.

Readers of my book know that I don't believe that all marriages are worth saving. To be sure, many divorces are unnecessary and virtually every marriage could---with mutual and sustained effort---be improved. But sometimes one or both spouses have mentally thrown in the towel, have given up on sex, affection, and fun times, and are simply living out their remaining days like prisoners in a maximum-security cell.

But a lifeless marriage does not have to mean a future without sunlight or fresh air. No matter what your age, no matter how tight your finances, no matter what obstacles are in your way, you still have the power to make something happen; you have the key to unlock the jailhouse door. You may be afraid to exercise your power, but it's there inside you all the time, waiting to be called on.

There's no question that change is scary and that freedom comes with a price. But if you're wasting the only life you will ever have on this earth, you're paying a price already, a very big price. If your marriage is truly dead, don't perpetuate your suffering. Take some small step today to create a better future. And tomorrow, take another one. Before long, fear will be replaced by excitement, and you'll be ready to open that door to a new and better life.